Greetings!

I started writing copiously during the first COVID lockdown in March 2020, limiting it to scraps of paper I’d routinely lose or struggle to read later on. Most of it was in journal form; scrawled emotional releases tussling for space with maths equations, shopping lists, doodles and drawings. Cluttered, but very much in line with my personality: logical, contemplative and complex!

Self-doubt and forgetfulness often derailed this new habit, but I kept returning to it, its true value dawning on me gradually.

Once I’d resolved the crucial initial sticking points (what if I’m terrible at this? Why is my handwriting so abysmal? What colour pen should I use?) I discovered that committing stories, thoughts and feelings to my notebook really helped. Seeing them in black (or red, or blue) and white felt different. Exercising and refining my writing chops clarified things and brought a lot of concealed issues to light.

Deciding to migrate that sporadic, private expression over to a regular and public blog was a big step for me to take. I’ve no fear of revealing my foibles and laying them bare, but it feels so…. official!

And exposing. After all, candidly, I’m not a well-being professional, I have no training in offering advice or overcoming obstacles. But, what I lack in relevant qualifications, I more than make up for in lived, first-hand knowledge.

I’m an immigrant, of dual heritage, an acute anxiety sufferer and highly sensitive person. Truly, my native, internal wiring meant I’d never sail through life without friction, but this tangle of issues has its advantages. It’s demanded that I keep evaluating my lot, regularly learning something new as I go along.

My intention is to begin the arc of this blog with some backstory, allowing you to get to know me properly before I dive in with my myriad opinions on everything else! I’ll tackle some of the heavier stuff immediately, particularly as it strongly pertains to mental well-being; something I’ve wrestled with since childhood.

As I lay things out, ‘earnest-me’ would like to reassure you that I’m not exaggerating my experiences or trying them on for size. I’m neither an avid, intentional flaw-collector or a raving madman, just conclusively f**ked up in many distinct ways!

With that in mind, I’ve built a habit of regular self-reflection, and a dynamic, adaptive response to choices I’ve made; the things I’ve been through. I’m on a lifelong quest to find answers, and to make things better. To do that, it’s no use keeping it all to myself. I have to do more.

Above all, I hope my intentions are always abundantly clear. I believe there’s a real need to bring people together at the moment and to do so traditional barriers, real or perceived, have to breached with determination and positivity. I have a contribution to make to that fight, and I hope that’s just what I’m able to do.

Long term, I’d love to ramp up the interactive element but for now, this is very much a one-man-band, and I’ll endeavour to get back to you as soon as possible. Ask me anything you like, make suggestions, tell me I’m talking rubbish.. whatever floats your boat.

On to the real stuff…

Maz

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An Act Of Balance